Bone marrow/leukemia question! please answer if you can!?
Hello,
My husband's brother has leukemia, and the doctors are talking about him needing a bone marrow transplant now. As the donor the doctors suggested using his little girl, she is 2 years old. Now, his wife is asking me to ask my husband would he be willing to donoate instead because she doesn't want their daughter to undergo the procedure.
I would assume that since the doctors didn't ask about siblings, that they think his daughter would be the best match for him.
My husband would be willing to do this, however, we have a 2 year old and another baby on the way, and my husband just started a new job and can't afford to miss any work! How can I tell my husband's sister -in-law in a polite way that we think it would be best that they use their daughter for the procedure? I don't want to sound mean! This is a very sensitive matter. Thanks so much and God bless....
Any info you can give me on brothers be donors or anything about it would be helpful!
Is a brother an automatic match to be a donor?
Hey guys, I also wanted to add that my Husband's brothers doctor has already told them that their daughter would be the best match and that's who the doctor would rather use, the only reason why his sister in law asked if he would do it is because she fears that he daughter will hate doctors afterwards...
- abossi
His daughter is better than his brother in terms of success of the graft cause she is younger so success rate higher than his brother .let his doctor tell him or them this fact they will accept it better than you tell them
- lizzie.
it may sound hard but, just be honest with him, and get it off your chest /shoulders, the sooner you tell them the quicker they can find another suitable donor to replace him,
and the hospital will sort him out,
hope he gets sorted soon, good luck to you all.
- Belliger
Hello,
I'm sorry about this. I want to say straight away that donation of bone-marrow (to someone else), is normally quite safe, but it is not entirely risk-free. A donor has to be assessed for health-risks to himself, and then has to sign an 'informed consent' form that he agrees to them. People do sometimes decline to donate bone marrow, for their own health's sake.
I think that you are not in a position to tell your husband's brother's family what is best, if your husband doesn't donate.
You *are* in a position to tell them that your husband does not want to donate, (if he really doesn't), - but *not* that therefore, they must get a donation from the daughter.
What they all decide to do if your family declines, is really up to them and their doctors, I think.
The 2- year old daughter would almost certainly need a general anesthetic, (to be asleep), before a bone marrow donation could be taken from her. She would just not understand to stay still, and the reason why it was painful. Her Parents would also have to give the consent for her. Again, a bone-marrow donation from her would not be entirely risk-free, - and neither would a general anesthetic be entirely risk-free.
The figures are:
** The daughter gets about one-half her genes - 50% - from her father, (your Husband's Brother), - and half from her mother.
** Your husband shares about one quarter - 25% - of his genes with his brother.
So the bone-marrow match from your Husband is probably going to be less good, - with about 25% of genes in common with his brother, - instead of about 50% of genes in common, (with the daughter).
However, even 25% shared genes, is still likely to be a much better match, than a donation from the general population would be.
A "perfect match" would *only* be, where your Husband and his Brother shared 100% of their genes. This would only happen if they had been born "Identical Twins."
Of course, I don't know what your Husband's new Employer would say, to his having time off so soon! But perhaps if your Husband explained, that it was to try and save his dying Brother, - the Employer would be sympathetic. It certainly wouldn't be a 'sacking' matter, - not in the UK, anyway. And the Employer would almost certainly view your Husband as a thoroughly "good chap."
I agree your Husband might have to take the time off as 'Unpaid Leave,' unless the new Employer was sympathetic.
Depending on what work your Husband does, and his own age and present health, - - he should be back at work in a week or two, after a bone-marrow donation. Your own doctor could advise you more exactly, on this.
So I think you might need some more 'hard information' for your Husband from, (1) his new Employer, and also (2) from his Doctor. That is, if this is still open to debate. Otherwise, I agree with the previous Answerer, - that the sooner you say a clear "No," the kinder and better for all concerned.
I hope this is of some help.
Best wishes,
Belliger (retired uk GP)
- midnightmoon
Actually, if your brother is a full blooded sibling, he has a 1 in 4 chance of being a match, where as a child only has a 1in 8 chance of being a match.
If the child has already been verified to be a match, I dont really understand why they are asking the brother, but... If donating actual marrow, she would have to be put under general anesthesia, and that IS a risk for a 2 year old.
Either way, if the donation is peripheral blood stem cells, its not that big of a deal. Its not painful other than gaining veinous access with needles, its an out patient proceedure and its not going to hurt the child at all. If your husband does do it, the hospital may be able to arrange for the donation to happen after business hours so he doesnt have to miss work. If the donation is actual marrow, it would only be a day or 2 at most that he would need to miss.
If he really doesnt want to do it though, just say no!
Leukemia — Comprehensive overview covers symptoms, causes, risk factors, treatment of this blood-related cancer.
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