4/15/11

how i can make this better?


how i can make this better?
Myelodysblastic Syndromes (MDS) are bone marrow stem cell disorders resulting in disorderly and ineffective hematopoiesis manifested by irreversible quantitative and qualitative defects in hematopoietic cells. Little is known about MDS patients from Dakar, including their prognostic classifications, Cytopenias, transfusion requirements, cytogenetic changes and treatment strategies. Our aim is to study disease characteristics among MDS patients from Dakar and to analyze the outcomes. For that, a retrospective analysis was conducted on 28 patients (for which their cytogenetic results were known) attended to our hospital between May 2000 and November 2008. Among the studied patients there were 14 males and 14 females. Their median age at diagnosis was 59 years (range from 18-80 years). The Most frequent subtypes seen were Refractory Anemia with Excess Blasts (RAEB) (10 cases) and Refractory Anemia (RA) (7 cases). The mean follow up was 30.6 months (range 2-103 months). Clonal cytogenetic abnormalities were present in 29% of patients and overall survival (OS) rate was 61%. Secondary transformation to acute myeloid leukemia was seen in 21%. This study provided useful information regarding the disease characteristics and survival of MDS patients in Dakar. The future prospective collection of results will be invaluable in evaluating the effect of therapies on patient prognosis.

- thenightlighter
It needs to be broken up into smaller paragraphs to make it easier to read and understand. My suggestion:


Myelodysblastic Syndromes (MDS) are bone marrow stem cell disorders resulting in disorderly and ineffective hematopoiesis manifested by irreversible quantitative and qualitative defects in hematopoietic cells. Little is known about MDS patients from Dakar, including their prognostic classifications, Cytopenias, transfusion requirements, cytogenetic changes and treatment strategies.

Our aim is to study disease characteristics among MDS patients from Dakar and to analyze the outcomes. For that, a retrospective analysis was conducted on 28 patients (for which their cytogenetic results were known) attended to our hospital between May 2000 and November 2008.

Among the studied patients there were 14 males and 14 females. Their median age at diagnosis was 59 years (range from 18-80 years). The Most frequent subtypes seen were Refractory Anemia with Excess Blasts (RAEB) (10 cases) and Refractory Anemia (RA) (7 cases).

The mean follow up was 30.6 months (range 2-103 months). Clonal cytogenetic abnormalities were present in 29% of patients and overall survival (OS) rate was 61%. Secondary transformation to acute myeloid leukemia was seen in 21%.

This study provided useful information regarding the disease characteristics and survival of MDS patients in Dakar. The future prospective collection of results will be invaluable in evaluating the effect of therapies on patient prognosis.

- Jacinta
I've broken the passage into paragraphs. Any text changes are marked with **____**.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Myelodysblastic Syndromes (MDS) are bone marrow stem cell disorders resulting in disorderly and ineffective hematopoiesis **[singular? American spelling throughout?]** manifested by irreversible quantitative and qualitative defects in hematopoietic cells.

Little is known about MDS patients from Dakar, including their prognostic classifications, Cytopenias, transfusion requirements, cytogenetic changes and treatment strategies. Our aim is to study disease characteristics among MDS patients from Dakar and to analyze the outcomes.

**Accordingly [?]** , a retrospective analysis was conducted on 28 patients **with known cytogenetic results, who attended** our hospital between May 2000 and November 2008. **There were 14 male and 14 female patients; their** median age at diagnosis was 59 years (**range: [colon here?] 18-80 years**).

The Most frequent subtypes seen were Refractory Anemia with Excess Blasts (RAEB) (10 cases) and Refractory Anemia (RA) (7 cases). The mean follow up was 30.6 months (**range: [colon here?]** 2-103 months). Clonal cytogenetic abnormalities were present in 29% of patients and overall survival (OS) rate was 61%. Secondary transformation to acute myeloid leukemia was seen in 21% **of the patients ... OR ... of the cases.**

This study provided useful information regarding the disease characteristics and survival of MDS patients in Dakar. The future prospective collection of results will be invaluable in evaluating the effect of therapies on patient prognosis.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Hope this helps. Good luck with your endeavours!

(N.B. – I'm not a medico.)

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