4/18/11

I'm so scared I might have Leukemia?


I'm so scared I might have Leukemia?
Right now as I type this it is 12:36 a.m. and I've awoke from terrible nightmares because of all the events going on in my mind. Let me start from the beginning...I got pregnant last year and gave birth in November. I had a C-section and three weeks later in December had terrible abdominal pain in my left side and went immeadiately to the E.R. to make sure there were no surgical complications as the pain was excruciating and intense. They diagnose me with Gallstones and to follow up with my G.P. There in the hospital my WBC count was 15,000 and I was prescribed antibiotics. Fast forward to January. Things are fine with my Gall bladder and I'm enjoying my daughter feeling great...my G.P. (general practitioner) calls because my bloodwork showed my white blood cell still elevated at 13000....fine, I go in to retake 1 month after the 13000 reading praying everything is well. Last monday I get a call it's 13.9 and I'm being referred to a hematologist/oncologist for testing to rule out any blood diseases. Up until this moment I had been fine, I'm 23 and yes I am extremely overweight but that is a story in itself. I've struggled the last 3 years with Bulimia as well, which the dr. does not know of and I have terrible anxiety. I can only pray that I am O.K. but after coming online to read the possible problems I can't help but be terrified it's Leukemia. I also have reoccurring ringworm that I didn't mention to this Dr. and I'm praying this is the reason it's elevated. I've also read severe emotional or physical stress.....well, bulimia, anxiety, a c-section, gall stones the holidays.....all have taken an extreme toll on my body and I once again am praying this is the cause. Tomorrow I call the other Dr. they referred me to, to set up testing. I just don't know how I'm going to make it until then. I'm literally shaking, I just cannot calm down about this I'm so scared. I just started my life, got married bought a house and had my baby how can all of these things keep happening. I guess I need some words of rationalism and hope....I just don't know what to do and I really don't need any 'oh yes you have leukemia you're dying' answers. I just needed someone to listen and tell me I'm being irrational I guess. Biggest mistake was googling symptoms online! It's funny how I have none then miraculously I'm thinking I have them all! It's all psychological with me I guess....I just want to enjoy my daughter and my life. For the first time I am ready to beat my eating disorder and am trying so hard to control my anxiety but with this it's just no use. I can't calm down. One minute I'm fine and my husband convinces me not to worry and the next I'm practically crawling out of my skin with fear. I suppose my real questions are....could my ringworm be the cause? Or my previous long Bulimia battle? Or my intense anxiety? Or the extreme physical stress of the Bulimia, then pregnancy, then surgery, then gall stones?? I need to hear that there IS another explanation. Please if you are experienced and able, please give me your input. (Oh and when I say the physical stress from the eating disorder , for those that do not know it's intense and tragic and just reeks havoc on the body and mind. I personally lost 160lbs in about 1 year....then over 2 gained 100 back while still suffering from the illness but now am trying desperately to be healthy for my family and it's working. Or so I thought) Thank you for taking the time to read this. Please do not criticize or respond with rudeness. Only honest professional opinions please....Thanks again. And God Bless...

- Denisedds
Well yes you are being irrational and if you really want to enjoy your life and your new baby you need to find a good therapist and deal with your emotional issues. Once you deal with that everything else will work itself out. as this is where most of your problems come from. You also need to consider your baby. I know you don't mean to, but you are projecting your thoughts and insecurities on your baby and maybe creating anxiety and emotional issues for him or her. You have so many health issues the cause could be many other things rather than leukemia. Oncologists are very good at putting it all together. I work with a lot of them and the vast majority is very sweet and are used to dealing with people at emotionally stressful times in their lives. You need to be perfectly honest and open with them regarding you medical history for them to do their job well and to give you the best advice possible.

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