I'm really worried ... any advice please?
I just recently turned 18 and have two younger siblings (3 and 7 years old). I grew up in a household where I had to do things myself (probably since i was 8 or 9) because my mom and step father was barely around or they just didn't care. These past two years has been very hard on my family especially me. In Feb. 2007 my step father was arrested and he's been in there since. Just 4 months after, my 3 year old brother was diagnosed with Acute lymphoblastic leukemia (ALL) and has been through numerous treatments and procedures, yet alone hospital stays and ER visits.
My mom does not give a f*** about us and its sad to say she is our mom. She does not put no effort into caring for my little brothers especially with a sick child. All she knows and does is party, get drunk, and have fun with her friends; if not at work.
I have been like a mother to the little ones, I had to drop out of college to care for them; but luckily i got to graduate from high school. I mean i don't mind at all for what i am doing because i love my brothers to death and i want to give both of them the love they deserve from a sister since my mom and step father aren't in their lifes. I'm just in a situation where i need my own space too and need my time to have fun and get all this stress away. But it's hard because all i think about are them.
i just need some advice on how to cope and deal with this kind of situation. Any advice would be kindly appreciated.
Thanks in advance.
- Amre K
take your mom to a therapist and talk about it.
- savage gurl
first of all, you are an AHMAZING person to have put aside all of your problems and occupations to help your siblings.
ANY problem where the parents arent there to help, is always hard to resolve. have you tried talking to your mom, because maybe she could lend/give you money to get your own apartment and maybe get a nanny to watch the children during the day.
if not, talk to a counsler, who can give you better help and advice than anyone you can meet on the internet..
good luck! love & prayers - hannah
My honest advice is: if you really care about these children I would give them up to social services. I don't know about this whole thing that much but see if you can keep them in a safe home for a while as you finish school and can get a good job to support them. Then settle down in a house or just get yourself on track then bring them into your new house. Your "mom" isn't a mom. She is a birthparent. Nothing more. If she doesn't care about them then she isn't worthy of TAKING care of them. Just look into it.
- Double D
I'm sorry. And I don't have the magic answer you want. I went through very similar. And the best thing I did was sit my mother down, tell her to get her head out of her ass and start being a Mother. I kept the boys (4 of them) and pretty much raised them. I'm 22 and it took her almost 4 years to realize she was an idiot and wise up.. I hope you have better luck.
I know you want to fix everything and be everything, but sadly you can't. You have to love and care for your siblings, but as siblings. Tell mom to shape up.. If she can't handle it, then reach out to relatives.
I'm sorry dear.
- Grant M
You are one great sister. I think that you should get advice from counselors or therapists that specilize in child-care. This will help take the stress off when you have to be rushing your younger brother to the ER, and you will know how to get through it .Also will help you take care of them in general. Take your mother to a therapist aswell. They can make miracles happen, and possobly help your mother so that she can be in her sons, and your, life. Another thing to do that is good for any situation is to pray. God is the ultimate miracle worker. Pray for wisdom and strength to get through this tough time in your and your brothers life.
Good Luck, Grant Miller
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